Heartbreak
by best thing since cookies
Summary: Is it MerDer? Is it Addek? Maybe a little bit of both, but mostly just heartbreak. Post season finale
1. Meredith

**A/N: Obviously post-season finale**

**Heartbreak: Part 1 of 2**

A hundred thoughts went through Meredith's head, but only one stood out enough to make her pause: He chose his wife.

It was no contest who she should choose. "Finn," she said, "Bring the car around. I need to talk to Derek."

Finn hesitantly did as she bid, knowing something was going on. Whatever it was, though, he trusted Meredith. She wouldn't stomp on his heart after he told her he had plans...would she?

Meredith turned and headed to the elevator, certain that Derek would follow her.

He did.

They were silent as Meredith pushed the emergency stop button. "I choose Finn," she said, turning to him.

The heartbreak showed on Derek's face. "Meredith--"

"No, Derek," Meredith said sadly. "I needed you to love me. I needed you to choose me, but you chose Addison. You made the right decision."

That last statement puzzled Derek. "No, I--"

"You made the right decision," Meredith said softly, putting her hand on Derek's arm. "Addison loves you. She had to have noticed the looks, the smiles, everything, but she still stayed. She's out there right now waiting for you to go home with her. You made your decision and it was right."

Derek grabbed her arm and stopped her from releasing the stop button. "No," he said desperately.

Meredith turned to him, tears welling in her eyes. "I have to move on," she whispered, shaking her head.

Derek shook his head. "No."

Meredith sniffed, trying to be strong. "Every time you give me that smile, that hope, it's always taken away. I was _happy_ with you, Derek. Then I found out you were married! I was devastated at first, but there was this hope...I held myself together because _there was hope_ Then I met Finn who is just as damaged and scary as me. He understands I'm broken, but that's okay because he is too...and he has plans."

"Meredith, you can't--"

"I can," she said firmly, letting the tears fall. She put her hand over his heart. "But I need you to give me my heart back."

"I can't," he whispered brokenly.

Meredith leaned her head on his shoulder. "Derek, when we--I felt like I was falling. Like maybe you would be there to catch me. _Like maybe there could be a chance_," she admitted.

"Me too," Derek said, his arms circling her waist.

"But there isn't. I can't be with you. There's always this excitement, this soul-wrenching feeling, this _spark_." She pulled back and looked at him. "But, when I look at you, I don't see forever anymore." She wiped the tears from her face and smiled gently. "Tonight, when Finn told me he had plans, I didn't freak out. _That's_ the kind of thing I freak out about. Derek, when I look at Finn, I see forever. It's not only a spark; it's fireworks."

That wasn't what Derek wanted to hear. "No," he said, shaking his head in denial. He pulled her close and kissed her cheek, her nose, her lips.

Meredith gently pushed him away. "Go back to Addison, Derek. You _have _to let go because, right now, I actually think I can." She released the stop button. "Goodbye, Derek."

Derek watched her walk out of the elevator, feeling as if he'd been punched in the stomach. He slid down the wall and just sat there as Meredith went back to the vet. The vet who had plans. The vet who glossed things over about Doc so Meredith wouldn't be upset. The vet who was getting the forever.

Derek dropped his head into his hands. The vet who Meredith felt, not only a spark, but _fireworks_ with.

**END**

**A/N-I'm not bashing Derek. I still love him, but I don't think he deserves Meredith...or Addison. **


	2. Addison

**A/N: Obviously post-season finale**

**Heartbreak: Part 2 of 2**

When Derek finally came out of the elevator, he wasn't really surprised to find that Addison had left. He had been in the elevator for over an hour, sitting there while people came and went.

Only one thought helped him drag himself to his car: at least he still had Addison.

That was a terrible thought. Like she was some sort of backup plan. Addison Forbes Montgomery Shepard was no backup plan and she would kick his ass if she knew he even entertained the thought of her as one.

He pulled up to the trailor and parked. He sighed, and banged his head on the steering wheel. He didn't deserve her, and he hoped she knew that.

Apparently, she did.

When Derek walked into the trailor, he found Addison calmly packing a bag. "What are you doing?" he blurted.

Addison didn't spare him a look. "Packing," she said casually, as if her heart wasn't broken.

"What?" Derek asked, alarmed. "Why?" But he knew why. The real question was: why hadn't she left him sooner?

Addison turned to him with an incredulous look. "_Why_? Are you kidding me?" Her gaze was heartbreakingly sad. "The only reason you're here is because Meredith chose Finn."

Derek felt like his world was crumbling around him. Nothing was going right. "You can't leave," he said. At that point, he wasn't above begging her to stay.

"I can and I am," Addison said, turning to resume packing. "You slept with Meredith tonight. Kind of reminds me of my last prom. At least I had little to no feelings for the guy who left in the middle to screw a fellow geek."

Derek stilled her movements as he wrapped his arms around her. "Stop, Addison. Please," he whispered.

Addison almost leaned into him. _Almost_. "Derek, don't make this harder than it is." She pulled away and reached under the mattress. She pulled out some papers. "I thought these might come in handy."

Derek started breathing heavily, tears gathering in his eyes, unwilling to accept the divorce papers. "Don't do this, Addison. I love you."

Addison's eyes filled with tears, and a single tear made its way down her cheek before she pulled herself together. "I waited for months to hear those three words," she said calmly. "It's too little too late."

She zipped the bag, and turned away. "When you left me in New York, all I could think was that there was still hope. You left, and I waited for the divorce papers. They never came, and, when I got the call from Richard, I was so happy. Then my hopes were crushed when I found you with Meredith."

Addison looked him in the eyes and saw his heart shattering before her eyes. She turned away. "Then you gave me hope again by not signing the papers. Through everything--the looks, the touches, the elevator--the only thing that kept me here was knowing you chose me. You chose your vows. You chose your wife."

Derek nodded. "That's right," he encourage. He hoped that would convince her to stay. "I chose you, Addie."

Addison blinked slowly to keep the tears at bay. "I slept with Mark, thinking I was justified because you were absent. I had an affair. I stayed with him after you left, thinking he was the closest thing I could get to the real thing."

Addison watched his face contort into shock and indignation. "I didn't fall in love with him. I didn't go back to him when he came all the way across the country for me. It felt so good to be loved and fought for. That's all I needed: someone to fight for me." She kneeled beside him as he slowly collapsed. "I wasn't absent, Derek. I thought we were beyond hurting each other. I thought we were on the same page." She shrugged. "I guess I was wrong, but that's no big news." She walked to the door. "Looks like we're finally even." She finally knew how bad an affair could crush someone.

Derek stared at the divorce papers before him as the door slammed behind her. They were signed, and dated...three days earlier. The tears came with a suddenness that left him gasping for air.

In one day, his whole world had fallen apart. He finally knew the heartbreak that Meredith had went through when he chose Addison. He knew the heartbreak Addison had felt when he left without a fight.

He was experiencing both at once.

Heartbreak truly sucked.

END

**A/N-This is the saddest thing I've ever written. I wrote this on my dark day. That's why it's sad.**


End file.
